“Jesus, I Trust in You”
This has been a recurring message for me for years. I feel that no matter how deeply rooted I am in my faith, there is still a part of me that cannot fully let go and let God. I guess, it is safe to say that I am human after all. However, being human should not be an excuse to poorly imitate Jesus. No one is perfect or so the saying goes… but to be Catholic, to be Christian–our goal is not to achieve perfection, but Holiness. And what better way to achieve Holiness is to trust in the Lord! Trusting in the Lord is one of thing that all the saints have in common. They all trusted Jesus!
As we moved past Divine Mercy Sunday and the necessary survival of basic Christian journey, which is to always trust in the Lord, may we come to realize the significance of simply trusting the Lord. Why do we find it difficult to let go and let God? It is a necessary step to finding peace within yourself. When we do not trust in the Lord, we will get restless.
There had been days when I found it really difficult to get out of bed in the morning. What drives me to get out of bed? What drives me to go to work? What drives me to care? To be honest, I ask those questions not because my passion and drive comes from within my faith, no. Honestly my internal drive comes from some silly reason of “I care too much of what people think of me”. Most of the time, I find myself losing trust in the Lord because of what I think the people think about me. Do I even make sense?
I need to stop caring about what people think. I need to start letting go and letting God. I need to trust in the Lord. Trust in Him that He will always lead me in the right direction. I just hope I will be more than capable of letting go of the steering wheel.
“I have a God size hole in my heart…”
…and I can’t help but fill it with empty fillers. I work full time. I kind of love my job. I kind of love where I’m headed… but there are days when I feel like I’m back where I’ve started. It’s true… nothing in this world can satisfy, but we try so hard to satisfy ourselves with wordly things. Why? Because why not.
I have a lot of things to work on in my life and fear takes the most part of the hole that I know only God can fill. Why? Because I’m scared of the unknown, scared of the future, scared that God might ask too much of me! But, knowing that there is a God willing to complete and put the pieces back gives me hope–hope in what He can offer me. I just need to trust more.
Help me to trust more. Pray for me. Pray for the world.
The struggle comes when many of our day to day challenges start to haunt us and would constantly linger in our heads trying to capture us in our weakness. The conviction to fight the battle within is continually diminishing because we let ourselves be filled with all the negativities, all the worries, and with doubt just around the corner, it suffocates us that we let bitterness control us. Our faith life suffers because our trust in the Lord is regularly attacked with lies constantly telling us that we are insignificant. Regrets fill us and shape us to grow weaker, and we ourselves become a distinct reflection of Peter walking on water with Jesus beside us saying, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt (Mt. 14:31)?” Everyday becomes a journey of self-assessment, self-assurance, and continual appraising of self worth. We become mere images of Thomas as he doubts (John 20:27). We forget to find peace within us because we forget Jesus resides in us. We forget to remember that the battle within cannot be won when we let our fears consume us. “Fear not (Is. 41:10)!” Jesus would say over and over, but still fear devours us and our hope falters evidently.
What happens next?
It is all up to us. It is up to us to constantly fight, no matter how difficult, because at the end of the day it is Jesus who puts our hearts back together. It is Jesus who constantly reminds us that in Him we will find peace (cf Jn. 16:33). The battle is not against the world, it is against ourselves. When we realize that our faith is bigger than our fear, we come to realize that Jesus is everything we ever will need.
“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” – Romans 5:1-5