Read Me

I have not written in a while… and although I have been meaning to write, my thoughts seem to wander off in many different directions.

Let me get straight to the point before I lose it (mind you, it is very late in the night)… I realized something very important. It might be important just to me, but I hope it will plant a seed within you.

I used to go to weekly confession, while in the confessional I told the priest that my previous confession just happened last week. During the middle of my confession the father had asked me a question that will forever be engraved in my mind, “Are you confessing the same sins as last week?” I got caught off guard because I did not know what to say. I said yes. He told me, “Then you’re not trying hard enough.” I could no longer finish my confession with the same conviction to be forgiven. I was ashamed because I pictured Jesus telling that to my face.

I did not share that story to scare you from going to confession. I shared that story because there will be moments in your life when God will be very blunt. Unfortunately, I did not realize this at the time. I stopped my weekly confessions at the time because “you’re not trying hard enough” was on repeat in my head. I felt judged.

Now while it is true that God speaks to us every day, even in the little things–in what we see, hear, feel… we often think that God speaks in only the good. We forget that God can also speak in ways that we may not like. In truly knowing God, we will realize His real voice. In truly trusting God, we will feel His real love.

You probably have already felt judged by someone, insulted, or even abused. You have probably suffered, were humiliated, or even embarrased. Let me tell you something… sometimes most of the time the enemy uses those circumstances to lead you away from the voice of God. Whatever or however you act on your circumstances, the enemy is always right behind you.

You may feel that you are enjoying your new life with Christ, but beware the enemy is lurking and ready to snatch you anytime (cf. 1 Pt 5:8). If you do not realize this, the enemy will succeed, just like how he succeeded when I felt that the priest had judged me. We will fail and fall and although the enemy is always behind us, we must always remember that God is beside us, in us, with us.

We are being attacked as Christians. The Church is being attacked. It is not time to separate but to unite. The Lord is speaking but the world is too loud. Let your voice be God’s voice.

TGBTG

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#BestLentEver – Day 9. Healthy.

“Are you spiritually healthy?”

It’s probably not the right moment for me to be writing. I can’t even seem to finish my thought process…

Am I spiritually healthy? As much as I want to say yes, I’m really not. I strive to be spiritually healthy, just as I strive to go to the gym everyday to be physically healthy. However, I noticed being the human that I am, I seem to focus more on the physical aspect of things. I want to look good in front of people. Why do I care so much?

Every time I go to confession, I have to admit that one of the things I really struggle with is having a constant prayer time. I suck at it. I am saying it again, because I really do. The intention is there, but I can’t seem to get myself to focus on God. My mind constantly battles with this push and pull motion of desire to sit in silence. With the growing number of responsibilities as we become more “adult” like, our focus on life is no longer justified by how we live but defined by what we live for. What do we really live for?

Lord, help me experience more of You.

PFM. PFW.