how the world sees You

help me understand why it had to be this way
when finding peace is as hard as trying to find a needle in a stack of hay
even when i am trying to find a glimpse of Your light
the world shines vanity and pride as bright
when my joy disappears
my sorrow creeps to ignite
why do You feel so distant
where are You
my heart feels so vacant
at a time when i need You the most
i fell i cried and i got back up to find you waiting
is it real is heaven real
i have been longing for my heart to heal
i am hoping You can help me
would you be willing to save me
help me find You
why do You have to feel so distant

God is the God of Miracles

“My child, I am the Lord Who gives strength in the day of trouble. Come to Me when all is not well with you. Your tardiness in turning to prayer is the greatest obstacle to heavenly consolation, for before you pray earnestly to Me you first seek many comforts and take pleasure in outward things. Thus, all things are of little profit to you until you realize that I am the one Who saves those who trust in Me, and that outside of Me there is no worth-while help, or any useful counsel or lasting remedy.”  (Thomas à Kempis)

The challenge is not found during the experience of faith–where you are side by side with people who choose to follow Christ with You. The challenge is not when you are at your best or when all your prayers have been answered. It is not when you are in deep realization of the power of God in your life nor when you recognize that living a holy life is the fastest way to Heaven. No, the challenge is the resistance within us. The resistance when we wake up in the morning, when we eat our lunch, when we go back to sleep at night. The resistance is within us; living through our words, thoughts, and actions.

Let faith arise, in spite of what I see Lord, I believe. But help my unbelief, I choose to trust You.

We are called militants for we are still fighting and our battle is not over. It’s easy to lose sight of this battle. If you don’t think that you’re in a battle, there is a slight possibility that resistance has already won over you. Can we profess ourselves as Holy Warriors of God and yet find ourselves lost in this journey called life? How can we live this life and also strive to be Holy Warriors? Help me to trust You more.

Listen with the ear of the heart.

We have so many voices in our lives that provide directions and instructions. The voices may confuse, motivate, inspire, or discourage us. The voices may come in the beauty that lies within our surroundings or come as loud and as terrifying like thunder and rain. It may come as a whispering smile, or a heaving sigh. It may come like a shock to your already beautiful life. It may come and disturb your perfectly planned goals and desires. Despite the voices that may come, we have to listen and respond to our deep longing to be united with God. Our hearts are restless until they rest in You.

Jesus has now many lovers of the heavenly kingdom but few bearers of His cross.

Living our convictions and professing our faith is not easy. It’s not. No saint had ever said it was an easy journey. No saint had ever proclaimed that suffering is not part of the journey. But God is faithful, we have to believe and pursue God’s dream for us. God is done writing our stories! We need now to open the book and read it. We need to let the inklings of faith and the hunches of desire make us better versions of ourselves. We need to see God as He is, hear Him as He declares, feel and experience Him as He profess. We need to feel God’s glory through the little miracles He put in our lives. Our lives are full of little miracles. When we fall in love with Jesus, we are motivated to suffer and always encounter Him, to meet Him over and over!

Love takes to itself the life of the loved one. The greater the love, the greater the suffering of the soul. The fuller the love, the fuller the knowledge of God. The more ardent the love, the more fervent the prayer. The more perfect the love, the holier the life. (Staretz Silouan)

I pray that this fervour, this zeal, this desire will not depart from us. However,  if it does leave us, help us to always turn back and find You. I urge you brothers and sisters to fight the good fight of faith. Stand up for what you believe. We are the generation–the new generation that will bring troubled souls back to Him.

Pray for world. Pray for peace.

 

Oh Lisbon!

I have been travelling for approximately 18h and counting. As I sat on the plane waiting to land in Lisbon airport, I could not help but say to myself… why is everything not going according to plan?

This is my first time to travel internationally by myself… and I’m kind of, sort of–freaking out. We had a delayed flight to Toronto so they had to reroute us to London instead. In London, I had almost missed my flight to Lisbon (got held up at security because of a yogurt I got on the plane), waited approx 1h and 30 min to get out of customs clearance in Lisbon, prayed really hard and asked for the intercession of St. Anthony, Mama Mary and St. Joseph for my luggage to appear at baggage claim. (I can handle anything but a lost baggage.) Thankfully, it was there waiting for me after an excruciating wait to get a stamp on my passport. Whew!

We got to our Fatima hotel and it’s right beside the Basilica! Oh how lovely! I fell in love with the place! As I sat and celebrated mass at the Basilica, where you can find the tomb of Jacinta and Francisco (isn’t that so cool?), I prayed and let go of all my troubles and worries and frustration. I told the Lord to help me be closer to Him during this trip no matter what happens next.

I can feel Your presence around me. Help me be more like You.

Portugal

I am going on a pilgrimage to Fatima. I am asking for your prayers. This is the first time that I will be traveling by myself (not really by myself because I am with a group of people I have not met yet). I am not a social person, used to be an anti-social, now I’m just a semi-anti-social (if that’s even a thing). I am feeling a bit worried, anxious, and excited all at the same time. Since I read the story about the apparitions of Our Lady of Fatima, I had since been intrigued about it. As I wait here today before I fly out, I can’t help but feel a little worried.

My flight to Toronto is delayed for another 2 hours… This means I will miss my Lisbon flight. I don’t know what to do so I’m just hoping and praying for the best. I know the Lord is with me in this trip so what could possibly go wrong right?

Here we go…

Jesus, I Trust in You

“Jesus, I Trust in You”

This has been a recurring message for me for years. I feel that no matter how deeply rooted I am in my faith, there is still a part of me that cannot fully let go and let God. I guess, it is safe to say that I am human after all. However, being human should not be an excuse to poorly imitate Jesus. No one is perfect or so the saying goes… but to be Catholic, to be Christian–our goal is not to achieve perfection, but Holiness. And what better way to achieve Holiness is to trust in the Lord! Trusting in the Lord is one of thing that all the saints have in common. They all trusted Jesus!

As we moved past Divine Mercy Sunday and the necessary survival of basic Christian journey, which is to always trust in the Lord, may we come to realize the significance of simply trusting the Lord. Why do we find it difficult to let go and let God? It is a necessary step to finding peace within yourself. When we do not trust in the Lord, we will get restless.

There had been days when I found it really difficult to get out of bed in the morning. What drives me to get out of bed? What drives me to go to work? What drives me to care? To be honest, I ask those questions not because my passion and drive comes from within my faith, no. Honestly my internal drive comes from some silly reason of “I care too much of what people think of me”. Most of the time, I find myself losing trust in the Lord because of what I think the people think about me. Do I even make sense?

I need to stop caring about what people think. I need to start letting go and letting God. I need to trust in the Lord. Trust in Him that He will always lead me in the right direction. I just hope I will be more than capable of letting go of the steering wheel.

5th Sunday of Lent 2017 – Rise.

Today’s Gospel reveals not only God’s glorious magnificence but also God’s human nature. Raising Lazarus was one of the greatest miracles Jesus had revealed to us. The story of the raising of Lazarus displayed rather very complex characters. We will focus on Martha for today. Martha as we know her, has always been the “hands-on, logistics, all-around helper” of the ministry. Her character in this Gospel revealed three distincr characteristics that Christians tend to fall under, namely:

  1. Question/Judgement
  2. Reliance on what we know
  3. Doubt/Trust

Question/Judgement:

“Lord if You had been here (Lazarus) would not have died.”

We tend to ask God when faced with difficult situation what He had done or what He could have done to prevent certain events of our lives that are too unbearable. Just like Martha, we kind of put the blame on God.

Reliance on what we know

I have always believed you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one who has come into the world from God.”

In our journey of faith, we will come to believe who Jesus really is in our lives. Martha had alreadt believed that fact, in fact she even stated and proclaimed that He was the on true Messiah. However, the human knowledge she has is clouding her faith. She knows that Jesus is the Messiah, but she also knows that Lazarus is now dead. Conflict of interest there…

Doubt/Trust

Lord, he has been dead for four days. The smell will be terrible.”

At this point, Martha could only feel confused. She knows for sure that Jesus will no longer be able to relieve her from the pain of losing her brother. It’s as if she doubts Him. Only now… all she could do was to trust in Jesus.

Martha reveals so much of me. She relates so much to me because of everything she is and who she became–a true follower of Christ.

PFM. PFW.

#BestLentEver – Day 17. ERASER.

As I scramble to read all my accounting notes and finish practice questions for my exam tomorrow, I can’t help but keep looking at the solution pages. Am I ready for this test because I have the answers just a flip a way? Or am I really confident that I can do the exam without it?

In life and in our journey with our faith, it’s the same thing. The only difference is we don’t need to flip the page to get our life on track. We just need to turn our lives to God. The answer to life’s biggest mystery is not to succeed. The answer is to seek God, to know God, and to love God. It doesn’t matter how many times we get the answer wrong. It doesn’t matter how many red marks we have on our tests… because God marks with an eraser. He sets asides our mistakes to use and give us another clean paper to try it again! He also uses us to provide others the answer to their own exam! In other words, He uses us to be the solution!

Let our light be always a guide to someone in need.

Pray for me. Pray for the World.