how the world sees You

help me understand why it had to be this way
when finding peace is as hard as trying to find a needle in a stack of hay
even when i am trying to find a glimpse of Your light
the world shines vanity and pride as bright
when my joy disappears
my sorrow creeps to ignite
why do You feel so distant
where are You
my heart feels so vacant
at a time when i need You the most
i fell i cried and i got back up to find you waiting
is it real is heaven real
i have been longing for my heart to heal
i am hoping You can help me
would you be willing to save me
help me find You
why do You have to feel so distant

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God is the God of Miracles

“My child, I am the Lord Who gives strength in the day of trouble. Come to Me when all is not well with you. Your tardiness in turning to prayer is the greatest obstacle to heavenly consolation, for before you pray earnestly to Me you first seek many comforts and take pleasure in outward things. Thus, all things are of little profit to you until you realize that I am the one Who saves those who trust in Me, and that outside of Me there is no worth-while help, or any useful counsel or lasting remedy.”  (Thomas à Kempis)

The challenge is not found during the experience of faith–where you are side by side with people who choose to follow Christ with You. The challenge is not when you are at your best or when all your prayers have been answered. It is not when you are in deep realization of the power of God in your life nor when you recognize that living a holy life is the fastest way to Heaven. No, the challenge is the resistance within us. The resistance when we wake up in the morning, when we eat our lunch, when we go back to sleep at night. The resistance is within us; living through our words, thoughts, and actions.

Let faith arise, in spite of what I see Lord, I believe. But help my unbelief, I choose to trust You.

We are called militants for we are still fighting and our battle is not over. It’s easy to lose sight of this battle. If you don’t think that you’re in a battle, there is a slight possibility that resistance has already won over you. Can we profess ourselves as Holy Warriors of God and yet find ourselves lost in this journey called life? How can we live this life and also strive to be Holy Warriors? Help me to trust You more.

Listen with the ear of the heart.

We have so many voices in our lives that provide directions and instructions. The voices may confuse, motivate, inspire, or discourage us. The voices may come in the beauty that lies within our surroundings or come as loud and as terrifying like thunder and rain. It may come as a whispering smile, or a heaving sigh. It may come like a shock to your already beautiful life. It may come and disturb your perfectly planned goals and desires. Despite the voices that may come, we have to listen and respond to our deep longing to be united with God. Our hearts are restless until they rest in You.

Jesus has now many lovers of the heavenly kingdom but few bearers of His cross.

Living our convictions and professing our faith is not easy. It’s not. No saint had ever said it was an easy journey. No saint had ever proclaimed that suffering is not part of the journey. But God is faithful, we have to believe and pursue God’s dream for us. God is done writing our stories! We need now to open the book and read it. We need to let the inklings of faith and the hunches of desire make us better versions of ourselves. We need to see God as He is, hear Him as He declares, feel and experience Him as He profess. We need to feel God’s glory through the little miracles He put in our lives. Our lives are full of little miracles. When we fall in love with Jesus, we are motivated to suffer and always encounter Him, to meet Him over and over!

Love takes to itself the life of the loved one. The greater the love, the greater the suffering of the soul. The fuller the love, the fuller the knowledge of God. The more ardent the love, the more fervent the prayer. The more perfect the love, the holier the life. (Staretz Silouan)

I pray that this fervour, this zeal, this desire will not depart from us. However,  if it does leave us, help us to always turn back and find You. I urge you brothers and sisters to fight the good fight of faith. Stand up for what you believe. We are the generation–the new generation that will bring troubled souls back to Him.

Pray for world. Pray for peace.

 

#BestLentEver – Day 17. ERASER.

As I scramble to read all my accounting notes and finish practice questions for my exam tomorrow, I can’t help but keep looking at the solution pages. Am I ready for this test because I have the answers just a flip a way? Or am I really confident that I can do the exam without it?

In life and in our journey with our faith, it’s the same thing. The only difference is we don’t need to flip the page to get our life on track. We just need to turn our lives to God. The answer to life’s biggest mystery is not to succeed. The answer is to seek God, to know God, and to love God. It doesn’t matter how many times we get the answer wrong. It doesn’t matter how many red marks we have on our tests… because God marks with an eraser. He sets asides our mistakes to use and give us another clean paper to try it again! He also uses us to provide others the answer to their own exam! In other words, He uses us to be the solution!

Let our light be always a guide to someone in need.

Pray for me. Pray for the World.

#BestLentEver – Day 14. Decisions.

“Where do you want to eat?”

…is one of the questions that I always have a hard time deciding. There are just so many options out there that I just can’t miss out on. And when I do finally decide on where to eat, it is mostly based on what I feel.

I feel like telling you that you are useless. You are useless. (I wanted to tell one of my colleagues at work today. Forgive me Father.) Of course, I did not tell him. I called him out subtly, but I did not tell him how I felt. Why? Because it’s wrong to hurt other people.

Most of the time we focus on our feelings so much that we base our decisions on what we feel. We forget that decisions should be based on the answer to the question, “what will make me a better person?” Or if it’s a long term, more difficult decision, “what is the next loving thing to do?”

No. We do not ask those questions, because most of us are impulsive beings. We’re not perfect. We don’t always make the right decisions, but being able to make the right decisions comes with practice of the mind and heart. Mind, by knowing God and heart, by loving God.

Help me to know and love You more.

Pray for me. Pray for the world.

 

#BestLentEver – Day 12. Soulful.

I need to think about this for a minute… I was really not the best version of myself today. Mostly because I know there are some things I should’ve left unsaid and some things I should’ve never done. Nevertheless, I still did the things I did and I still said the things I said today. I don’t know. I’m like a Screwtape magnet (CS Lewis reference), they probably know what I’m up to. Well, guess what I know what they’re up to as well! I just need to work a little bit harder and pray a little bit more!

Matthew Kelly said something that hit me today, “…if there is something you want to stop doing, you’ve got to crowd it out with other good things that do actually help you become the-best-version-of-yourself.”

And I guess that’s just it… sometimes we try to just avoid the bad things, but most of the time we keep coming back to it because we don’t replace it with the good. It’s kind of like when you want to become more healthy, you get rid of all the junk food and sweets, but never strive to replace them with healthier food so you just end up hungry and you resort back to eating the junk.

Now why didn’t I think of this before? Because we focus on ourselves too much! When we start focusing our attention to where it matters most (*cough* like Jesus), we start diverting our resources and time to things that make us the best version of ourselves!

Lord, help me to live and love more soulfully.

 

PFM. PFW.

 

2nd Sunday of Lent 2017 – REALITY.

It’s becoming more difficult. I know what God wants of me. I know what I have to do. Every day has been a struggle to find the best version of myself, because everyday brings its own challenges. Reality check– we are not perfect beings. We will be tempted and we will fail. The struggle comes when you know exactly what to do, but you choose not to do them. Why? Because we forget! I forget! I forget my purpose, my goal, my vision, and yes–my God.

The Gospel today teaches us that Jesus is the bridge that connects man to God. His transfiguration confirms His Majesty! Peter, James, and John must have thought they were dreaming. Jesus could have easily told the three, “Peace out I’m leaving with Elijah and Moses!” No. He chose to stay and do the inevitable. He chose us. He did not forget his purpose.

Reality is we forget what Jesus had done for us. We KNOW He died for us. As Christians that fact is already embedded in our minds and our hearts. What we always seem to forget is the why. Jesus loves us so much, let’s not choose to always forget.

Give me the grace to stay true to Your teachings.

PFM. PFW.

#BestLentEver – Day 8. Almighty.

“THY WILL BE DONE.”

Matthew Kelly posed the question today on how do we see or experience God in our lives. It made me think about how I always see Him as the Almighty and Powerful; just as He was, is, and is to come. As Christians, that is one of our basic understanding of who God is–Almighty and Powerful; just as He was portrayed in the Old Testament.

We had LBS (Liturgical Bible Study) Thursday today and as we talked about the Gospel reading for this Sunday, Jesus was portrayed magnificently side by side Moses and Elijah. Jesus’ ultimate “selfie” or rather, image for us Christians has always been His crucifixion. Our discussion tonight had me thinking how Jesus the Almighty, magnificently portrayed by John and Peter, chose to die on the Cross for us! “THY WILL BE DONE” indeed.

Now as I reflect back to Matthew’s question, “How do I see God?” I always try to look back to what Mother Teresa of Calcutta’s favorite line of Jesus, “I thirst.” Jesus’ thirst not only portrays His physical thirst for something to drink, but His thirst for our love for Him.

I thirst for more of You, Jesus.

PFM. PFW.