I am the type of person that hates, loathes, despises anything violent. I avoid it. It is just plain disturbing for me when I see or hear someone in pain. As soon as I know something excruciatingly painful is about to happen or show up in movies, in the news, or on the internet; I run the other way and avoid the subject entirely. I once walked out of the movies because it was mentally challenging for me. I felt like I was getting sick. I practically self-diagnosed myself of algophobia (fear of pain) because it haunts me.
Last night, I decided to watch Mel Gibson’s The Passion of Christ movie. As I turned the lights off, I wondered why on earth I would watch a movie so physically and emotionally disturbing for me. I told myself that I owe it to Jesus to be with Him on His passion. By trying to bear the gut-wrenching moments of my self-diagnosed disorder, I forced myself to watch the movie without looking away, without avoiding the painful scenes, without holding anything back, and just to be in the moment. It was a whole new experience for me, because during the entire movie I was balling my eyes off. Every hit and miss, every blow, every slap and spit, every single one they threw at Jesus, my heart started hurting. I couldn’t take it… I kept saying, “Lord… please no, stop” literally. I feared that I must’ve woken someone up while watching, because I was literally wailing. I have never forced myself to watch something that disturbed me so emotionally and it was distressing. It hurts. My heart was in pain.
Imagine… Jesus who is without sin, died for me. Why me? You don’t just look at the cross and see Jesus, you look at the cross and see love. That is love, brothers and sisters, pure love. True love.
I challenge you to journey with Jesus today. Journey with Jesus everyday, and remember why He took on that cross for you. Do you feel it?
Crucem tuam adoramus Domine, resurrectionem tuam laudamus Domine. Laudamus et glorificamus.