What Do You Live For?

Merry Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all my readers!

And of course, last day of the year always makes you think about things you forget to even think about during the year… well today’s the day to be more thankful!

As I was reading Rediscover Catholicism by Matthew Kelly (I think it is God’s message for me today too), I came across the question, “What are you willing to give your life for?” It’s no longer what you are willing to die for, because we have multiple stories of martyrdom and in our society (where we live), no one is asking you to die for anything, but to live for something. We get so caught up with our life, emotions, plans, and building relationships with people around us that we forget to ask ourselves about our life, plans, relationship with God this year. How was it?

I gave up social media (IG, Twitter, sc, etc.) this year; it definitely was a difficult process the first couple months, but as the time went on, it became easier. There were definitely moments when I wanted to share my experiences through social media but I could not. I felt like I was cut off from the world because I seem to have no knowledge of what was happening with my friends that I don’t really see or talk to in a regular basis, I would find out through other people and it bothered me. This year definitely made me realize that if you want to maintain relationships, it is not enough to depend on social media to know what is happening, but for you to actually reach out to them. There were real relationships that flourished this year and relationships that I still need to work on and have realized my shortcomings. I pray that this year, I may have the courage to care more and delve into relationships that actually matter to me.

There were also a lot of “firsts” for me this year, and also realizations about myself that I have not even imagined existed. It was a blessed year in terms of travelling for me as I visited a lot of places. Those are the moments I wished I could share with everyone but I knew I could not share everything with everyone. Why and who did I want to share my life and experiences with was the question that popped in my head. For what was my reason for sharing? Visiting a lot of places this year put different perspectives in my head and heart. Where would I be three years from now? Would I still be where I am at? I pray that this year, I follow and find God wherever He is.

There were definitely a lot of questions that was asked this year as well, as per my questions that are already listed above. However, thinking about these questions or even thinking about the answers to those questions I realized that I may not always like the answer or the outcome. I may not like where God is leading me at the moment, but I have to think about the bigger picture (always think about the bigger picture). We may only see a fragment of the piece but God sees it all. I pray that this year, I may learn to trust more.

But really… how was my relationship with God this year? As usual, my answer is the same. It has been a wave of ups and downs. I struggle to maintain it. I struggle to pursue it. I just struggle. However, God never fails, He uses the people around me, my surroundings to always lead me back to Him. But I just dislike the fact that my high peaks do not surpass others, in other words, I’ve become stagnant and lazy with my faith. I found excuses this year to stay where I am at, because I like where I am at. I am simply did not grow in my faith. I remained the same. I pray that this year, I may have the strength to persevere with my faith even when things get tough.

So what do I really want to live for this year? I want to find myself again deeply in love with my faith, my family, and with what I do. I want to be able to look at things no longer in my perspective but through God. I want to answer others prayers. Matthew Kelly said in his book, “A lot of prayers go unanswered because we forget to heed the call.” I want to answer His call and I will start with myself again. It will be a struggle as always, but I want to look back through the year and say, “Hey, I actually grew in my faith this year.”

Blessings in the coming year 2018! I pray you will have more blessings with lots of hope, faith, and love.



Something Beautiful – Day 16

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, ’cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I’m in reach
‘Cause I am down on my knees, I’m waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful

I’ve always imagined this song to be the song for my wedding video. Imagine… as the church doors open and as I walk to the altar to meet my groom, smiling at all the other people staring at me, trying to contain the tears that is starting to well up in my eyes, and I imagine… something beautiful. This is something beautiful.

But since I am not even close to being married, the something beautiful I imagine is the birth of Jesus. Imagine… being with Mary and Joseph at the time Jesus was born, isn’t it beautiful? I can hear the angels singing “Gloria”. I can smell the winter air inside the little stable. It feels joyful. The image of Jesus’ birth is joyful.

Okay, okay, I must’ve imagined too far ahead and too far back… where am I leading your thoughts to again? Oh yeah.. have you ever longed for something for so long, and when you finally got it, you feel undeniably happy.

I’m always reminded every time I hear this song, that we already have something beautiful in our lives, we just have to be aware of the little blessings we have by being grateful. Be thankful for everything, because everything does not come easy for everyone.

Contrary to what the song is saying… we don’t have to wait for something beautiful to happen. We can make something beautiful to happen by just being thankful. Being loving. Being joyful.

May our Christmas be filled with more love and joy.

We are called to be missionaries. – Day 15

Contrary to what most people think, I believe we are called to be full-time missionaries. How do you see yourselves three years from now?

Being a missionary for the Lord is summed up by the homily I heard yesterday that quoted the following:

Only tell people about Jesus when you are asked. However, live your life so other people will ask about Jesus.

As we approach Christmas, we have to be reminded about the reason for the season. We can easily be distracted by material preparation, but how about our hearts? Are we ready to be a missionary for Jesus like John who testified to the light?

May we be filled with joy and spread thay joy to others.

“Our lives should lead to a hopeful world.” – Day 3

Where would I be now if lost hope? They say that your hopes and dreams are the drive to your actions. But, sometimes those hopeful/wishful thinking brings about our worst times. Those hopes sometimes bring about our deepest hurts, failures, and sufferings. Why would the Lord put those desires in my heart only to crush me?

My relationship with the Lord had reached its ups and downs. Sometimes it’s been stagnantly on the downside. And I can hear that tug in my heart, that feeling of hopelessness when I am very far “down”. It’s no longer “Christ in me” but my own. And when we reach those points in our lives we feel hopeless and God seems so distant.

I can truthfully say that I will always have those moments, because I’m human and imperfect. However, me being human should not be an excuse for me to feel hopeless. Matthew Kelly said in the reflection today that sometimes it’s not enough for us to think hopeful thoughts, we have to act on that hope and our actions should be driven by that hope.

May we be filled with more hope in the coming of our Lord this season of Advent.

“Our destination is toward God.” – Day 2

If we know that we are destined for Heaven, wouldn’t we want to work towards that destination? As we enter, approach, and surround ourselves this Advent season on things that truly matter, inspire, and direct us, we need to reflect on the simple blessings that we sometimes fail to see in our lives. These little blessings are God’s way of saying hello!

One of the few things that I wished I should have done more this year is be thankful. Upon reflecting on the things that happened throughout the year, I’ve only ever counted the blessings that brought big announcements, created joyful memories, and those that ended up as Facebook posts. What about those little blessings everyday that go unnnotice? Am I not thankful for those as well?

I’ve always kept this saying at the back of my head, “God is everywhere, God is speaking to us, God wants to be with us, what is Your message to me today?” Life itself gets in the way of these little affirmations that God gives in our lives. We think that God only gives “big” blessings, when everyday He showers us with His blessings. We are just too focused on the “bigger” things that we fail to see His presence through the little blessings.

May we be more active in finding You through our busiest moments.


God is the God of Miracles

“My child, I am the Lord Who gives strength in the day of trouble. Come to Me when all is not well with you. Your tardiness in turning to prayer is the greatest obstacle to heavenly consolation, for before you pray earnestly to Me you first seek many comforts and take pleasure in outward things. Thus, all things are of little profit to you until you realize that I am the one Who saves those who trust in Me, and that outside of Me there is no worth-while help, or any useful counsel or lasting remedy.”  (Thomas à Kempis)

The challenge is not found during the experience of faith–where you are side by side with people who choose to follow Christ with You. The challenge is not when you are at your best or when all your prayers have been answered. It is not when you are in deep realization of the power of God in your life nor when you recognize that living a holy life is the fastest way to Heaven. No, the challenge is the resistance within us. The resistance when we wake up in the morning, when we eat our lunch, when we go back to sleep at night. The resistance is within us; living through our words, thoughts, and actions.

Let faith arise, in spite of what I see Lord, I believe. But help my unbelief, I choose to trust You.

We are called militants for we are still fighting and our battle is not over. It’s easy to lose sight of this battle. If you don’t think that you’re in a battle, there is a slight possibility that resistance has already won over you. Can we profess ourselves as Holy Warriors of God and yet find ourselves lost in this journey called life? How can we live this life and also strive to be Holy Warriors? Help me to trust You more.

Listen with the ear of the heart.

We have so many voices in our lives that provide directions and instructions. The voices may confuse, motivate, inspire, or discourage us. The voices may come in the beauty that lies within our surroundings or come as loud and as terrifying like thunder and rain. It may come as a whispering smile, or a heaving sigh. It may come like a shock to your already beautiful life. It may come and disturb your perfectly planned goals and desires. Despite the voices that may come, we have to listen and respond to our deep longing to be united with God. Our hearts are restless until they rest in You.

Jesus has now many lovers of the heavenly kingdom but few bearers of His cross.

Living our convictions and professing our faith is not easy. It’s not. No saint had ever said it was an easy journey. No saint had ever proclaimed that suffering is not part of the journey. But God is faithful, we have to believe and pursue God’s dream for us. God is done writing our stories! We need now to open the book and read it. We need to let the inklings of faith and the hunches of desire make us better versions of ourselves. We need to see God as He is, hear Him as He declares, feel and experience Him as He profess. We need to feel God’s glory through the little miracles He put in our lives. Our lives are full of little miracles. When we fall in love with Jesus, we are motivated to suffer and always encounter Him, to meet Him over and over!

Love takes to itself the life of the loved one. The greater the love, the greater the suffering of the soul. The fuller the love, the fuller the knowledge of God. The more ardent the love, the more fervent the prayer. The more perfect the love, the holier the life. (Staretz Silouan)

I pray that this fervour, this zeal, this desire will not depart from us. However,  if it does leave us, help us to always turn back and find You. I urge you brothers and sisters to fight the good fight of faith. Stand up for what you believe. We are the generation–the new generation that will bring troubled souls back to Him.

Pray for world. Pray for peace.


Madrid and Guadalupe

I can’t get enough of this country… to the point that I have started researching how I can move here. No matter what the commotion around me everyday there seems to be a sense of peace inside of me–probably because of the blessing of all the churches I enter. They’re all beautiful… I cannot even pick a favorite because honestly I would not know which one to pick. As we went around Madrid today, one thing I started paying attention to, are the people. No matter how many tourists they have probably encountered–no matter if they know the language or not–they seem to have gotten used to it.

It’s amazing! We went on top of a mountain (I think) to visit Guadalupe where the Black Madonna resides, believed to be carved by St. Luke the Evangelist. We got to touch her relic too! (I really think I will be called Blessed Maria soon… haha) When I touched the relic, my heart skipped a bit and suddenly I felt the feeling when I pray in tongues. It’s like the Holy Spirit breathe through me. I’m not being dramatic here… we could not take photos or videos inside but the place itself is beautiful. The feeling is like a breath of fresh air after holding your breath under the water. I can’t think of better anecdotes. Must be the wine. I’m too tired. I miss home, but I also don’t. Now I am just out of it.

Lord help me find peace in my surroundings.