how the world sees You

help me understand why it had to be this way
when finding peace is as hard as trying to find a needle in a stack of hay
even when i am trying to find a glimpse of Your light
the world shines vanity and pride as bright
when my joy disappears
my sorrow creeps to ignite
why do You feel so distant
where are You
my heart feels so vacant
at a time when i need You the most
i fell i cried and i got back up to find you waiting
is it real is heaven real
i have been longing for my heart to heal
i am hoping You can help me
would you be willing to save me
help me find You
why do You have to feel so distant

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God is the God of Miracles

“My child, I am the Lord Who gives strength in the day of trouble. Come to Me when all is not well with you. Your tardiness in turning to prayer is the greatest obstacle to heavenly consolation, for before you pray earnestly to Me you first seek many comforts and take pleasure in outward things. Thus, all things are of little profit to you until you realize that I am the one Who saves those who trust in Me, and that outside of Me there is no worth-while help, or any useful counsel or lasting remedy.”  (Thomas à Kempis)

The challenge is not found during the experience of faith–where you are side by side with people who choose to follow Christ with You. The challenge is not when you are at your best or when all your prayers have been answered. It is not when you are in deep realization of the power of God in your life nor when you recognize that living a holy life is the fastest way to Heaven. No, the challenge is the resistance within us. The resistance when we wake up in the morning, when we eat our lunch, when we go back to sleep at night. The resistance is within us; living through our words, thoughts, and actions.

Let faith arise, in spite of what I see Lord, I believe. But help my unbelief, I choose to trust You.

We are called militants for we are still fighting and our battle is not over. It’s easy to lose sight of this battle. If you don’t think that you’re in a battle, there is a slight possibility that resistance has already won over you. Can we profess ourselves as Holy Warriors of God and yet find ourselves lost in this journey called life? How can we live this life and also strive to be Holy Warriors? Help me to trust You more.

Listen with the ear of the heart.

We have so many voices in our lives that provide directions and instructions. The voices may confuse, motivate, inspire, or discourage us. The voices may come in the beauty that lies within our surroundings or come as loud and as terrifying like thunder and rain. It may come as a whispering smile, or a heaving sigh. It may come like a shock to your already beautiful life. It may come and disturb your perfectly planned goals and desires. Despite the voices that may come, we have to listen and respond to our deep longing to be united with God. Our hearts are restless until they rest in You.

Jesus has now many lovers of the heavenly kingdom but few bearers of His cross.

Living our convictions and professing our faith is not easy. It’s not. No saint had ever said it was an easy journey. No saint had ever proclaimed that suffering is not part of the journey. But God is faithful, we have to believe and pursue God’s dream for us. God is done writing our stories! We need now to open the book and read it. We need to let the inklings of faith and the hunches of desire make us better versions of ourselves. We need to see God as He is, hear Him as He declares, feel and experience Him as He profess. We need to feel God’s glory through the little miracles He put in our lives. Our lives are full of little miracles. When we fall in love with Jesus, we are motivated to suffer and always encounter Him, to meet Him over and over!

Love takes to itself the life of the loved one. The greater the love, the greater the suffering of the soul. The fuller the love, the fuller the knowledge of God. The more ardent the love, the more fervent the prayer. The more perfect the love, the holier the life. (Staretz Silouan)

I pray that this fervour, this zeal, this desire will not depart from us. However,  if it does leave us, help us to always turn back and find You. I urge you brothers and sisters to fight the good fight of faith. Stand up for what you believe. We are the generation–the new generation that will bring troubled souls back to Him.

Pray for world. Pray for peace.

 

Madrid and Guadalupe

I can’t get enough of this country… to the point that I have started researching how I can move here. No matter what the commotion around me everyday there seems to be a sense of peace inside of me–probably because of the blessing of all the churches I enter. They’re all beautiful… I cannot even pick a favorite because honestly I would not know which one to pick. As we went around Madrid today, one thing I started paying attention to, are the people. No matter how many tourists they have probably encountered–no matter if they know the language or not–they seem to have gotten used to it.

It’s amazing! We went on top of a mountain (I think) to visit Guadalupe where the Black Madonna resides, believed to be carved by St. Luke the Evangelist. We got to touch her relic too! (I really think I will be called Blessed Maria soon… haha) When I touched the relic, my heart skipped a bit and suddenly I felt the feeling when I pray in tongues. It’s like the Holy Spirit breathe through me. I’m not being dramatic here… we could not take photos or videos inside but the place itself is beautiful. The feeling is like a breath of fresh air after holding your breath under the water. I can’t think of better anecdotes. Must be the wine. I’m too tired. I miss home, but I also don’t. Now I am just out of it.

Lord help me find peace in my surroundings.

Avila & Toledo

We’ve been moving around so much in the past 5 days–moving from different cities and timezones–that sometimes we forget to take a breather and listen to how God is trying to reach out to us today. Being the youngest in the pack, people I am with tend to tell me things I should not even hear. I shrug it off and enjoy the trip anyway. However, I do understand where they are coming from. I love it and I hate it. I love it because everything is well prepared and done for you. I hate it because I simply don’t even have time to sit at one of the beautiful churches we visit in silence to pray. Even for just 5 min. There’s so much history in these cities… but really there’s so much of God you see in these places as well.

People, artists, architects, painters, etc. who made these are all God-inspired people. God is magnificent indeed.

Help me to focus on You alone.

 

Jesus, I Trust in You

“Jesus, I Trust in You”

This has been a recurring message for me for years. I feel that no matter how deeply rooted I am in my faith, there is still a part of me that cannot fully let go and let God. I guess, it is safe to say that I am human after all. However, being human should not be an excuse to poorly imitate Jesus. No one is perfect or so the saying goes… but to be Catholic, to be Christian–our goal is not to achieve perfection, but Holiness. And what better way to achieve Holiness is to trust in the Lord! Trusting in the Lord is one of thing that all the saints have in common. They all trusted Jesus!

As we moved past Divine Mercy Sunday and the necessary survival of basic Christian journey, which is to always trust in the Lord, may we come to realize the significance of simply trusting the Lord. Why do we find it difficult to let go and let God? It is a necessary step to finding peace within yourself. When we do not trust in the Lord, we will get restless.

There had been days when I found it really difficult to get out of bed in the morning. What drives me to get out of bed? What drives me to go to work? What drives me to care? To be honest, I ask those questions not because my passion and drive comes from within my faith, no. Honestly my internal drive comes from some silly reason of “I care too much of what people think of me”. Most of the time, I find myself losing trust in the Lord because of what I think the people think about me. Do I even make sense?

I need to stop caring about what people think. I need to start letting go and letting God. I need to trust in the Lord. Trust in Him that He will always lead me in the right direction. I just hope I will be more than capable of letting go of the steering wheel.

#BestLentEver – Day 40. Black Saturday.

As we anticipate Jesus’ Resurrection, we now reflect on our Lenten journey. How has yours been? I have been blessed to journey with Dynamic Catholic on their program #BestLentEver. I have never been consistent in my writings and reflections and joining the program day-by-day throughout Lent had taught me a lot of things about myself and my faith. I have a lot to work on (I probably mentioned this multiple times throughout the season), however I know there are many more ways I can do to improve on myself–mainly to become a better-version-of-myself.

My life had been crazy busy with the ups-and-downs that life had thrown at me. It had been a hectic season of Lent both spiritually and physically. In all honestly, it had been difficult. There are times when I just did not have the time! I will find myself blogging in bathrooms, airplane, parks, buses, etc. It had been a great experience and I feel like the nudge from the Holy Spirit everyday had helped me get through it. Enough of my experience…

As we come tonight in Easter Vigil, we celebrate Jesus’ Resurrection and become witnesses of His great love for us. As I reflect on the reflection of the day, Matthew Kelly urges us to be present in the Gospel, most especially before, during, and after the Passion. If you were one of the disciples during His time, what would you have felt? Series of emotions and thoughts must have been whirling through their minds and it can get a little overwhelming. I can’t blame Peter for denying, Thomas for doubting, scared disciples for hiding… they all were acting rationally based on what they were feeling. Most of the time, we are the same. We act based on what we feel rather than what we know or believe.

Jesus, all powerful and loving, had helped us overcome this great mystery–mystery of our faith and his great revelation of His unconditional love for us. May we always be reminded, not just during Lent, to live and remember the Lord through His Passion.

I wish all of you a Happy Easter! Thanks for joining me on my journey of faith throughout this season of Lent.

Please continue to pray for me and pray for the world.

 

5th Sunday of Lent 2017 – Rise.

Today’s Gospel reveals not only God’s glorious magnificence but also God’s human nature. Raising Lazarus was one of the greatest miracles Jesus had revealed to us. The story of the raising of Lazarus displayed rather very complex characters. We will focus on Martha for today. Martha as we know her, has always been the “hands-on, logistics, all-around helper” of the ministry. Her character in this Gospel revealed three distincr characteristics that Christians tend to fall under, namely:

  1. Question/Judgement
  2. Reliance on what we know
  3. Doubt/Trust

Question/Judgement:

“Lord if You had been here (Lazarus) would not have died.”

We tend to ask God when faced with difficult situation what He had done or what He could have done to prevent certain events of our lives that are too unbearable. Just like Martha, we kind of put the blame on God.

Reliance on what we know

I have always believed you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one who has come into the world from God.”

In our journey of faith, we will come to believe who Jesus really is in our lives. Martha had alreadt believed that fact, in fact she even stated and proclaimed that He was the on true Messiah. However, the human knowledge she has is clouding her faith. She knows that Jesus is the Messiah, but she also knows that Lazarus is now dead. Conflict of interest there…

Doubt/Trust

Lord, he has been dead for four days. The smell will be terrible.”

At this point, Martha could only feel confused. She knows for sure that Jesus will no longer be able to relieve her from the pain of losing her brother. It’s as if she doubts Him. Only now… all she could do was to trust in Jesus.

Martha reveals so much of me. She relates so much to me because of everything she is and who she became–a true follower of Christ.

PFM. PFW.