#BestLentEver – Day 8. Almighty.

“THY WILL BE DONE.”

Matthew Kelly posed the question today on how do we see or experience God in our lives. It made me think about how I always see Him as the Almighty and Powerful; just as He was, is, and is to come. As Christians, that is one of our basic understanding of who God is–Almighty and Powerful; just as He was portrayed in the Old Testament.

We had LBS (Liturgical Bible Study) Thursday today and as we talked about the Gospel reading for this Sunday, Jesus was portrayed magnificently side by side Moses and Elijah. Jesus’ ultimate “selfie” or rather, image for us Christians has always been His crucifixion. Our discussion tonight had me thinking how Jesus the Almighty, magnificently portrayed by John and Peter, chose to die on the Cross for us! “THY WILL BE DONE” indeed.

Now as I reflect back to Matthew’s question, “How do I see God?” I always try to look back to what Mother Teresa of Calcutta’s favorite line of Jesus, “I thirst.” Jesus’ thirst not only portrays His physical thirst for something to drink, but His thirst for our love for Him.

I thirst for more of You, Jesus.

PFM. PFW.

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#BestLentEver – Day 7. Prayer.

“Lord, thank You.”

I admit. I suck at prayer. Well, I don’t suck at it. No one sucks at praying. What I really mean to say is… my life really revolves around being busy by doing nothing at all. I have time! I just choose to have time to do something else. And I don’t really know why.

Don’t judge me… I do pray everyday. But the thing is, my prayers have become repetitive and very robotic at times. “Thank You for the blessings… sorry for being impatient today. Help me do this or that…” It seems that my prayers usually just ends up being mindless requests and petitions. There are times of course, where I would really have a good prayer time… but it’s not constant because my mind is like a squirrel. I’m so distracted it’s frustrating. I think too much at times that I forget I am in prayer. Sometimes I need to force myself into meditation to actually focus my mind on God. I know I need to make more time. I need to sit in actual silence.

Help me feel You and hear You despite the wordly noise.

PFM. PFW.

#BestLentEver – Day 6. Satisfaction.

“What is God trying to tell me today?”

… is the one constant question I ask myself everyday–mostly because I find that most days God is so silent that I can barely hear Him!

I lost my patience today, not because I was unaware… I was completely aware but chose to ignore, to control, to resist. I chose to let my emotions get to me. I find that the underlying cause of my frustrations is also equivalent to the level of my satisfaction–satisfaction in work and relationships; satisfaction in finances and being in control; satisfaction in my overall accomplishment in life.

When I am not satisfied–my emotions tend to get the best of me. When my expectations are not met–I blame it all on God or the people around me! We’re dissatisfied because certain events did not meet our expectations. Why am I always dissatisfied? I probably took the wrong fork.

Help me see Your message through my dissatisfaction.

PFM. PFW.

#BestLentEver – Day 5. Burden.

As I sat in reflection and thought about what God message for me today, I realized that I am so out of it. I couldn’t even make myself go to daily mass because I felt so lazy! I texted my boyfriend earlier today saying that I’m just not in the mood and that everyone was getting on my nerves. Might be the Monday blues… always blame the Monday blues. No. It’s this constant struggle or question within me that I cannot help but come back to over and over again…

What am I doing with my life?

I know… I know I shouldn’t complain. I know I should be thankful. I’m blessed to have this life… but I would always have that constant pressure or voice inside me yelling in my ears, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Am I just settling for something less than what I’m supposed to be doing? What am I supposed to do?

Help me to always have hope for things yet unseen.

PFM. PFW.

1st Sunday of Lent 2017 – TEMPTATION.

“Away from me Satan…” – Matt. 4:10

Can we all just pause for the day and reflect on what happened this week? Think about all the things you could’ve said better, all the things you could’ve acted on–all the things we could’ve avoided!

Why oh why is temptation always so tempting? Why can’t I have the strength to run away? I mean, a voice at the back of my head is already ringing and telling me, “Stop! You will regret what you are about to say or do!” I just don’t have it within me. I even see Gabe, my guardian angel (I named him, because why not? We’re close) in my head “face palming” himself. Sometimes I just don’t have it within me. I’m just too proud at times.

How does Jesus make it look so easy? It’s not easy! I just need to be more than willing to admit that I am being tempted and that I am weak. We are weak. We don’t only have to rely on ourselves, we have to rely on God. God alone is our strength. So when I’m weak. I’m weak because I’m human–I can be made strong because of God.

Lord, help me to lean on Your strength and not my own.

PFM. PFW.

#BestLentEver – Day 4. WANT.

“Lord, I want more of You. I desire more of You…”

…have been my constant prayer throughout my faith journey. It’s my constant struggle battling between what I really want and desire for my life and what God desires for me. Sometimes I often think Him saying to me, “You say you want more of me but I want more of you too.” I find myself always just relying on my prayers asking God or rather telling God how He should just mold me, “Lord, make me more patient. Make me understand. Help me be less moody…” thinking that just by praying about it, God will snap His fingers and change me.

Snap.

I want more of You Jesus. Help me want more of You. I do really, but it’s not really enough to want something. It’s the first step, but it’s not enough. It doesn’t end there. It’s not enough to say, “I want to pass my exam” and then not study. You have to want and then act on that want.

Lord, let Your will be done always.

Pray for me. Pray for the world.

#BestLentEver – Day 3. HOLE.

“I have a God size hole in my heart…”

…and I can’t help but fill it with empty fillers. I work full time. I kind of love my job. I kind of love where I’m headed… but there are days when I feel like I’m back where I’ve started. It’s true… nothing in this world can satisfy, but we try so hard to satisfy ourselves with wordly things. Why? Because why not.

I have a lot of things to work on in my life and fear takes the most part of the hole that I know only God can fill. Why? Because I’m scared of the unknown, scared of the future, scared that God might ask too much of me! But, knowing that there is a God willing to complete and put the pieces back gives me hope–hope in what He can offer me. I just need to trust more.

Help me to trust more. Pray for me. Pray for the world.