Almost four months in since I’ve started working in a corporate job setting. Almost a year since I graduated from a degree I thought would bring me contentment. You see… this job pays the bills. It pays a lot of things– my wants, my needs, my leisurely expenses, my convenience… sometimes even my temporary happiness. I’m happy with my job. I like it. Not too stressful, not too boring, it doesn’t take away my time from service. Although since I’ve started, I have had this recurring thought/question of a desire I never once dreamed I would have. What is my purpose? What is it really? Am I really just supposed to be earning money to pay my loans? Is that really what I’m supposed to be doing? Is that it? It sounds so–monotonously boring and dull. It feels empty! I have always thought that working in the corporate world would bring satisfaction, because it would fulfill my financial obligations. I’ve always thought having money for travel, for shopping, for anything… would lead to my perpetual amusement every pay day… but I beg to differ. I have always looked forward to weekends consisting of multiple community events, meetings, and fellowships. I have always looked forward to finding the fulfillment of my purpose through my service, because I am never satisfied in anything else. It seems like I’m craving for something more–something greater. I even took on more work responsibilities because I felt like the job just got too repetitive, still the need to satisfy the void recurs. I’ve bombarded the Lord with questions, and in my confusion, I’ve asked Him to lead me on how to fulfill these desires. Do I sound too foolish to think that there is a greater purpose than what I’m really doing? Do I sound selfish to be even thinking about these things because of the blessings God has graciously blessed me with? Am I the only one who feels/thinks/aspires that God has a greater purpose in my life–in our lives?
I feel like I’m the only one. I can’t be the only one.