The struggle comes when many of our day to day challenges start to haunt us and would constantly linger in our heads trying to capture us in our weakness. The conviction to fight the battle within is continually diminishing because we let ourselves be filled with all the negativities, all the worries, and with doubt just around the corner, it suffocates us that we let bitterness control us. Our faith life suffers because our trust in the Lord is regularly attacked with lies constantly telling us that we are insignificant. Regrets fill us and shape us to grow weaker, and we ourselves become a distinct reflection of Peter walking on water with Jesus beside us saying, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt (Mt. 14:31)?” Everyday becomes a journey of self-assessment, self-assurance, and continual appraising of self worth. We become mere images of Thomas as he doubts (John 20:27). We forget to find peace within us because we forget Jesus resides in us. We forget to remember that the battle within cannot be won when we let our fears consume us. “Fear not (Is. 41:10)!” Jesus would say over and over, but still fear devours us and our hope falters evidently.
What happens next?
It is all up to us. It is up to us to constantly fight, no matter how difficult, because at the end of the day it is Jesus who puts our hearts back together. It is Jesus who constantly reminds us that in Him we will find peace (cf Jn. 16:33). The battle is not against the world, it is against ourselves. When we realize that our faith is bigger than our fear, we come to realize that Jesus is everything we ever will need.
“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” – Romans 5:1-5